Tomorrow, I will be frisked.
Because, apparently, I am a threat to all airplanes and they must ensure I haven't been creating explosives with my paralyzed hands and hiding them in my seat cushion. Obviously the best, most comfortable, place to keep a handmade explosive is under your bum.
The second most comfortable - and convenient place - to keep them is in my shoes, which they will remove.
Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for the safety of airplanes. I just think that their predictibility in frisking every wheelchair user is a little, well, predictable. Surely any conniving disabled person is smart enough to hide their treachery on an unassuming frisk-free able bodied accomplice.
Do I look that dangerous? Or is it that I look that unassuming and surely would accept any unmarked suitcase from a stranger if he asked me to hide its contents on my chair?
My favorite is when they tell me to raise both my arms and lean forward so they can swipe the back of my chair (for explosives, of course). I end up flopped over my legs like a rag doll, much to the surprise of the frisker, who seems to always believe that if I look like a normal, able bodied person who just happens to be sitting, surely I am. The lack of back muscles surprises them.
My second favorite is when they ask me to lift my legs so they can swipe the foot rest (again, for explosives). Lady, if I could lift my legs, I'd kick you.
Well, tomorrow morning I'll be frisked again as we head out to Florida to speak. Maybe I'll throw myself out of the chair and army crawl through the metal detector.
...but then I'd have to wait on the floor while they frisked my chair. Which, of course, was the culprit to begin with...
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
New Wheels
My one wheel went flat when we flew back from St. George a couple weeks ago and Whit has been pumping it up every morning. The leak is slow, but annoying, as you can imagine. It's harder to push and a lot harder to turn.
I guess that's what I get for not "scaring" the flight staff of the airlines when they take my wheelchair down below. Usually we take a picture of the chair just as the airline worker comes to get it so that he knows we're serious when we say "be careful" with it. I only haven't taken a picture of my chair in front of this guy (whoever takes it below) twice: on my very first flight when they broke off the brake and severely damaged the rim, and this last time when the tire went flat.
We're flying to Florida to speak at a Women's Conference this weekend and for sure we'll be photographing the chair...just to scare the person. It's dumb, why won't people just understand that super expensive and extremely necessary?
Oh well. As long as we know the "tactic" that works.
But for today, I have a different set of wheels on from a wheelchair someone gave me. The rims are metal, which is hard for me to push because I can't grip them. But Whit, my genius husband, got some rubber rims that just snap on and viola! I have new wheels, fully pumped, with rubber rims! The rubber on the rims is amazing and I've been cruising all over the house. I turned right and it was easy! I went straight and it was easy! I went over a little ramp in our house and, guess what - it was easy!
I;ve been paralyzed for 7.5 years and this is the first day I've ever had rubber rims on a manual chair - I don't know why I didn't think of this before. It's 100 times easier than the wheels I've been using because, even though the rims a re "rubber," they're a smooth, hard rubber, not a sticky, soft rubber like these magnificent pieces of sticky beauty.
Love them.
I guess that's what I get for not "scaring" the flight staff of the airlines when they take my wheelchair down below. Usually we take a picture of the chair just as the airline worker comes to get it so that he knows we're serious when we say "be careful" with it. I only haven't taken a picture of my chair in front of this guy (whoever takes it below) twice: on my very first flight when they broke off the brake and severely damaged the rim, and this last time when the tire went flat.
We're flying to Florida to speak at a Women's Conference this weekend and for sure we'll be photographing the chair...just to scare the person. It's dumb, why won't people just understand that super expensive and extremely necessary?
Oh well. As long as we know the "tactic" that works.
But for today, I have a different set of wheels on from a wheelchair someone gave me. The rims are metal, which is hard for me to push because I can't grip them. But Whit, my genius husband, got some rubber rims that just snap on and viola! I have new wheels, fully pumped, with rubber rims! The rubber on the rims is amazing and I've been cruising all over the house. I turned right and it was easy! I went straight and it was easy! I went over a little ramp in our house and, guess what - it was easy!
I;ve been paralyzed for 7.5 years and this is the first day I've ever had rubber rims on a manual chair - I don't know why I didn't think of this before. It's 100 times easier than the wheels I've been using because, even though the rims a re "rubber," they're a smooth, hard rubber, not a sticky, soft rubber like these magnificent pieces of sticky beauty.
Love them.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Book Winner!
My hot, geeky husband put all the names of the people who commented on my blog, facebook, liked the fan page, and reposted stuff (thanks guys!) into a random generator. Then I got to push the button and it chose the person who wins my new book, The Coolest of Days!
And the winner is...(drum roll, please)...
Lex-a-roo!
So, Lex-a-roo, send me a message on my facebook or website and I'll send you this book!
Thanks everyone who commented and got books already - you're awesome!
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
Disabled
I left a seminary building the other day and this kid runs to get the door for me. As he holds the door, he asks, "so when can you walk again?"
Not wanting to sound like a downer and tell him there was no cure, I said, "in the resurrection."
To which he replied, "Whoa - you're disabled?"
I stared blankly at him for a second. I guess to him, up until that point, I wasn't...
Me and my big mouth!
Not wanting to sound like a downer and tell him there was no cure, I said, "in the resurrection."
To which he replied, "Whoa - you're disabled?"
I stared blankly at him for a second. I guess to him, up until that point, I wasn't...
Me and my big mouth!
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
The Coolest of Days
Okay, so I love poetry. Not the deep, intense, beautiful stuff you study in literature classes, I'm more of a Dr. Suess, Shel Siverstein kinda girl.
Bring on the rhymes.
Every so often, I'll feel super rhyme-y and just write something. It happened a couple years ago and when my friend read it, she said I should paint pictures to go with it.
So I did.
And now, 2 years later, here it is!
Bring on the rhymes.
Every so often, I'll feel super rhyme-y and just write something. It happened a couple years ago and when my friend read it, she said I should paint pictures to go with it.
So I did.
And now, 2 years later, here it is!
I almost can't believe it. The colors in the pictures are so vivid and the book even smells good. It's bigger, about 9x11", and everyone who reads it wants to buy it for someone they know who is going through a hard time. (I did, too. I just gave it to my friend whose husband has cancer.)
The message is so good...it's definitely not "my own" idea...obviously the idea that we learn from our trials has been around forever. But trials are so freaking hard sometimes. And unfair. This is why I decided to make a video out of the book, so people everywhere can feel uplifted!
So I've decided to give one away! (and if any of you know my husband, you know that it took a lot of groveling for me to be able to do this...)
You can win one free copy of The Coolest of Days in a drawing we will hold on Friday, October 7, 2011. You can have multiple entries to win and to earn entries, just do one or more of the following (more is better):
All entries must be completed by Friday, October 7 at Noon.
Winner will be announced on my blog on Friday afternoon!
I am truly excited about this book! The message is so nice for anyone/everyone who is having a hard time and I am glad for the internet to be able to share what I've learned with so many.
Much love,
Meg
The message is so good...it's definitely not "my own" idea...obviously the idea that we learn from our trials has been around forever. But trials are so freaking hard sometimes. And unfair. This is why I decided to make a video out of the book, so people everywhere can feel uplifted!
So I've decided to give one away! (and if any of you know my husband, you know that it took a lot of groveling for me to be able to do this...)
You can win one free copy of The Coolest of Days in a drawing we will hold on Friday, October 7, 2011. You can have multiple entries to win and to earn entries, just do one or more of the following (more is better):
- Follow my blog (current followers are automatically entered - I love you guys) - 2 entries
- Subscribe to my Youtube Channel - 1 entry
- Like The Coolest of Days fan page - 2 entries
- Repost this video on your facebook page (comment on the fan page to let us know you did it... my husband checks...) - 3 entries
- Repost this video on your blog (post your blog link here in a comment) - 3 entries
All entries must be completed by Friday, October 7 at Noon.
Winner will be announced on my blog on Friday afternoon!
I am truly excited about this book! The message is so nice for anyone/everyone who is having a hard time and I am glad for the internet to be able to share what I've learned with so many.
Much love,
Meg
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Beaker for Stupidty
Yesterday Whit and I returned home from an overnight trip to St. George (I spoke there for a WCF board retreat) and didn't quite know what to do with ourselves. It was too late to watch a movie but too early to go to bed and we were too tired to go out and too awake to just sit there and so Whit started to see if he could throw bundles of mail and Ensign magazines over his head and into the trash across the house without looking. After several unsuccessful tries and with garbage and papers strewn in everywhere, he looks at me with half-closed eyes that looked like they were trying to think and says: "boredom is the beaker for stupidity."
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Nicknames
You know how when we were in high school and college, we had funny nicknames for some teachers? I remember taking shop class from Moon (I don't remember his real name. Not sure why this was ever a nickname...won't dare allow my mind to venture to any obvious reasons...)
But I had another teacher we just called Frau. She was our German teacher in high school and it just made sense to us, even though it's the equivalent of just calling someone "Mrs."
And so when I became a seminary teacher, I was totally going for a cool nickname. I had visions of being the students favorite teacher and referring to me in cool ways like Sister Wheels, or Sister J (abbreviations are totally cool, too...).
But no. I overheard a student tell another student how, not Sister J or Sister Wheels...or even just Wheels taught seminary...but I heard him tell his friend, "You know that lady who came and spoke at Youth Conference, you know - Fishhand!? She teaches seminary here!
Well, Fishhand it is, I guess.
At least I know kids remember stuff from my talks...
But I had another teacher we just called Frau. She was our German teacher in high school and it just made sense to us, even though it's the equivalent of just calling someone "Mrs."
And so when I became a seminary teacher, I was totally going for a cool nickname. I had visions of being the students favorite teacher and referring to me in cool ways like Sister Wheels, or Sister J (abbreviations are totally cool, too...).
But no. I overheard a student tell another student how, not Sister J or Sister Wheels...or even just Wheels taught seminary...but I heard him tell his friend, "You know that lady who came and spoke at Youth Conference, you know - Fishhand!? She teaches seminary here!
Well, Fishhand it is, I guess.
At least I know kids remember stuff from my talks...
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